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It doesn’t sound very romantic, and we weren’t too sure about it at first, but we know it’s the only way.
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, it is really hard not knowing when you’ll see each other again. Jonathan and I have been back and forth from France to Connecticut for three years now and I can’t tell you how excited I am for our next 6+ hour flight because, after spending the summer together in the States, we’re finally getting on the same plane. Together. He bought two round trip tickets, arriving from Paris by himself, just so that we could leave together at the end of the summer. If that’s not romantic, I don’t know what is. (The story of how we met isn’t nearly as romantic!)
Choosing to move to France was not an easy decision to make. Ultimately, when considering my work situation as a French teacher and my previous experience living abroad in France, we felt that I was the more transportable of the two of us. With that big decision out of the way, the next big hurdle arose. How would I go about establishing a life in France? (And what what would I do with all my stuff?)
The way we saw it, we had two options. Here are the simplified versions:
- I could find a job and have the job then sponsor my work visa. My job options would likely be limited.
- We could get married in France on a long-stay visa so that I could attain a residence permit and then find work afterwards. My stability would come from being the spouse of a French citizen as opposed to securing a job. Plus, we already knew that we wanted to get married in the future, so why wait if it could make the transition more manageable?
We chose the most direct route to being together. Yes, we’re getting married for the papers, but we’re also getting married to ensure our future together, so that we don’t have to count down to when the next tourist visa expires and so that when we travel together, we can go home together. You know what? Maybe marrying for papers is romantic, after all.
Related: Questions to Ask Yourself Before Moving Abroad for Love
16 thoughts on “Marrying for Papers”
Hi Ellen! This is reminiscent of Eric and my experience 27 years ago! Our adventures have been many and like any marriage with some bumps in the road. Eric just said, “No, its been a fairy tale!” Yes, marrying for papers is romantic. I look forward to reading your new adventures!
Hi Molly! Thanks for checking out my blog. Eric told us a lot about what it was like for you two when you were starting out. Your fairy tale has been inspiring to us!
I think it sounds very romantic and exciting! And you get to live in Paris!
Yes! And it also means I will have a lot of visitors! 😛
Oh, la, la.
Way to go, Ellen!
Can’t wait to read all about you living the dream. Bonne chance et bon voyage! Big hug.
Thanks, Karen! As I sit in my apartment in Paris, I still can’t believe this is my life! XX Ellen
Love reading about your experience! Can’t wait for more (maybe you have a future as the next big blogger?!)
If not for you, Jonathan and I wouldn’t have met! I’ll have to do a post explaining all that 🙂 We owe you a big thanks for making all of this possible. Seriously!
What a beautiful story!! Good luck to you and may you have a beautiful and long life together – wherever you may be…❤️
Thank you so much for the well wishes, Denise. I appreciate you taking the time to read our story 🙂
Whether you marry for papers or not, it is “leap of faith” and a “love story”. I think that things will work out fine. “And, also, too”, as my late mother used to say, you will not have to suffer from “T.A.D.” here. Your site will be interesting for all of us!
Clay, I am so touched by your kind words. It’s so nice knowing I have such an encouraging supporter reading my blog!
Congratulations, Ellen. You know you are meant to be together. Marriage is exciting, marriage is an adventure, marriage is real and always romantic. I remember being in the similar boat… bitter sweet to leave “the most beautiful country in the world” behind, but I was more “transportable” as you so well expressed. I’m so happy for you.
Thank you for your support, Yvonne. It means so much to me!